I had a revelation a couple of weeks ago that made me understand myself more. I have lived with this sensation for all of my life, only being aware of it when I was able to become aware of things.

I realized that I am not in control of my life.

Sometimes I will sit and contemplate all the things that are happening in my surroundings that I have absolutely no control over. Like now for instance. I am typing on a computer that is just working. Nothing I am doing is making it work. All of the parts are working together and I have nothing to do with it. One day, it will not work because something will break and then my feeling of being out of control will be enhanced and exposed.

That’s just a silly example. But it gets really crazy if you start thinking like this too long. It may sound like an exercise that could lead to hysteria, but I feel edified by it because it leads me to consider greater things.

What really matters is to consider the leadership of God in your life. When I think about all the things that are out of my control, I realize that God is in control. A person who denies God will either deny that he is out of control or boast of man’s ability to control the life he is living. That is destructive because it is a folly that leads to death.

The leadership of God over my life is so beautiful and perfect that I cannot explain it or comprehend it. It does not mean that my life is free from trouble or pain, far from it. What it does mean is that He leads my heart into faith, hope and love time and time again. He leads me to encounter Him in surprising ways that make me worship and love Him.

When I choose to go a way that is destructive, He does not let me go too far. He always leads me back and shows me a different way that is much better.

I’m really thankful to Jesus today because He has chosen me and loved me. He is working in me that I might be conformed into His image on that day. I’m really thankful that I’m not in control because that would be horrible.